I have written here in several posts about the defining activity of making choices. See About Practice for an example.
Just now in the middle of a spy thriller TV series (Jack Ryan, Season 3, if you must know), this conversation between two colleagues: “You [messed] up.” “I made choices.” “There were better ones.”
There are always alternatives to choices we make in singing, in other engagement, and in living. Other choices may range from somewhat harmful or less helpful, to destructive, to abject deal-breakers.
To become the honest and wise person/artist – in evaluating a performance, an activity, a relationship, or a career – never choose to see yourself as a failure, even if the episode in question blew up for the whole world to see. Rather, identify the bad choices, find better ones, and choose differently in the future. This is how growth works.
Sometimes we look for what or whom to blame (not the best idea), but we can prepare for future success if we take responsibility for our past choices and strategize accordingly for the future. See Observations, not Excuses for more insights.
I wish you immense growth in your own endeavors, and of those for whom you are teacher, mentor, parent, and/or friend.